Pleased To Not Meet Your Expectations

Here’s an example of what i mean. I’m sure you’ve all shared a similar experience.
I’m in the elevator, getting ready for the door to close and begin my travel upwards. A guy comes in before the door closes. No problem. But then he just stands there. Doesn’t press a button or anything. I’m thinking he’s probably getting off on my floor, so still....no problem. The door closes. Then all of the sudden, he blurts out his floor number.......”at” me. And Boooyyyyyyyy....let me tell you.

Here comes that moment of expectation. Apparently i was “supposed” to oblige his numerical outburst  with an automatic response similar to a door-man’s reaction when awaiting such orders. Do i look like Ralph from the goddamn Jeffersons??? Hell no!  So, instead i react by doing absolutely nothing. Merely just gave him a look (Though, it was a look that said “who the @#%! do you think you are???”). Though these thoughts were going through my head, my actual reaction was me stepping back from the panel of buttons...so that he can  press the button........ for his own floor. Waaaaay to many goddam button decision makings for such a quick vertical uplift in a steel box, with a publicly displayed weight capacity, and a maybe perhaps an expired certificate revealed in an only made for an elevator-frame.......frame. (Whew...had to squeeze that one out. Damn!)

  Now, his lack of elevator etiquette most likely led me to my reaction. BUT..the assumption was that i would oblige his demand. Sometimes how you ask a question makes a difference. Especially when you’re barking numbers aloud that resembles an “asshole version” of Rainman!  Apparently, i felt the need to remind him of that. But yet, to also find the humor in it.

As silly and simple as that example was, i’m sure that quite a few people can share a similar experience. And a reaction. One that  just simply states “You know what ….not today. Don’t feel like going with the assumed flow of things at this very moment”. All it is is just a citizen-to-citizen, minor reminder of a reality check. Just because someone  even asks you “for a small favor”, or a “do you mind” lead-in question, doesn’t mean you should hold the burden of replying back with an answer, that may perhaps, have to make that person result to plan-B. Hell, their requests weren’t even in my plans A through Z. People should really be more understanding, and even better yet, more aware of what expectations they have of their fellow man. Even down to a simple moment of your last motorized  movement upward in a steel box before you’re walking inside your home.

His last motorized movement just so happened to be an elevator ride. With me.

Would You Hurry The Hell Up Already..........

Funny...who would’ve thought that sitting in my car, idling, would’ve caused one of the most darkest thoughts ever? You’d figured driving amongst a bunch of “A-holes”  would be the normal cause for road rage for most people. But noooooo.....far from! I’m talkin’ bout the rage that builds up when you’re idling in your car..........waiting.....(no..i mean some GODDAM WAITING) for some schmuck to finish that effin’ lackadaisical  stroll across the street!!! Meanwhile, you’re actually timing out the oncoming traffic flow, you’re timing out the traffic lights.......hell, you’re even timing out the remaining availability of free parking spaces when you arrive to your destination. But yet...these non-ambitious butt-heads are taking sooooooo long to walk across the friggin’ street that you  have to wait for them to get their non-driving asses to get the hell outta of the way! Making a left in Los Angeles....man...don’t get me started!!  That “after the light has turned red” timing, can completely be ruined by the bastard in headphones walking sooooo slow in the middle of our asphalt jungle. It really, really, messes up my timing to that awesome power-slide i’ve learned on my video game console. If you’re relatively old, mentally ill, or anything else that is literally preventing you from making a decision based on timing and/or the safety of your own ass, then and only then, i will respectively wait for you to finish your journey crossing the street. But teenagers, young adults, (and all other sane people), really need to consider their roles in the flow of life and machine. I’m sorry, but if it’s rush hour, you shouldn’t be casually strolling across, listening to music like Enya, while practically crawling across the street. And to be completely unaware of the hostile situation, at a constipated intersection, while death machines with oil and gas and metal are waiting. I mean...have at least some ambition to make it to the other side! DAaaaaamn!

This all leads me to my my point of my desire to change one of the most ridiculous laws that the state of California enforces. That “pedestrians has the right of way”. OHHHH....... MYYYYYY...... GAH! Kiss MY ass!!!!  Let’s think about this, shall we? There’s Man vs. Wild, then there’s man vs. CHEVY TAHOE! Why the hell does a driver have to come to screeching halt because some prick wanted to exercise their rights, as a pedestrian, and just walk the [bleep] out in the middle of the street. “Look at me, look at me.....I’m in the street, adjust to my presence NOW”. [Bleep] them! And their untimeliness  to exercise their right. I say, once people step off the sidewalk and onto the street, then...oh..i don’t know, use some goddam common sense and wait for the honk of metal on wheels to go by. Not have it adjust to you, stupid!
Hell, either  people (the ‘walkers’) are texting, or yappin on the phone anyway. Their attention span is already compromised. Right?!? Then guess what’s going to happen......they’re going to go to their cars and DRIVE! Only to continue the same mundane conversation that was previously had on foot. Great....so now they’re driving. But hey...wait a sec....maybe that’s how we balance everything out. Now that i’m looking from a new angle......there may be some rhyme and reason to this after all. This whole thing may actually weed out the slow-walkers, along with drivers’ that’s tele-communicating, drinking coffee (or any other beverage), texting, or finding the latest app to install on their “I-whatthefuckever” phone, changing radio stations, and reaching in the back seat to find blah, blah, blah.......fill in your own blank, while in the meantime doing 40 mph down a 2 lane street.
It all boils down to one thing. There are no rights when you should have to use common sense to know that man vs. car is always going to turn out with the same win/loss ratio (note pic below)
 Anyway, my dear fellow humans...all i’m saying is don’t let a ‘belief in a system over-ride common sense’. LOOK BOTH WAYS! WAIT WHEN THERE’S CARS FLYING DOWN THE ROAD!  That “tune in and drop out” approach to walking across a street is going to have you being remembered along with some flowers and candles at some random insignificant intersection. One day, ya slow unaware wanderers of the asphalt terrain, you’re going to come face to face with a soccer mom in a mini-van, who’ll also be reaching in her backseat to find blah, blah,blah (fill in your own blank). Hey, i’m not tryin’ to come off as an uncaring asshole...... but i’m just sayin’.